The Real Secrets To Busting Approach Approach Anxiety (What Dating Gurus Aren’t Telling You)
You’re going about your normal day, just walking down the street and suddenly:
You see HER!
She’s everything you’ve ever wanted. The height, the hair, the looks...everything in her screams ‘PERFECT’ out loud.
You know how reality works- She’s not gonna come over and talk to you.
It’s you who has to go up to her, be a man and make things happen.
It’s not like you don’t know what to do!
You’ve watched and read enough material online… that you can apply for the post of senior professor in the University of Dateology!
But there’s this invisible force which stops you!
You get nervous and start sweating, your mouth dries up and you choke up on the idea of saying a simple ‘hi’ to her!
And then… you get pulled over to the wretched land of what ifs.
‘What if I’m not good enough for her?’
‘What if I get rejected?’
‘What if she’s already seeing someone?’
What if she calls the cops on me?’
Trust me when I say this:
Approach Anxiety sucks! Life would have been way easier without it.
I mean yeah… if I had a choice to choose a superpower for myself, it won’t be to be able to fly like the Superman or going invisible like Dr. Strange and all that crap.
I’d choose being a guy without any Approach Anxiety!
But through years of going out and approaching women in and out, I’m pretty sorted when it comes to dealing with it.
And don't worry you will too, after you read this.
And so many requests coming from you guys, I decided that it was high time I write this post.
So here goes: My three ‘golden’ tips for hulk-smashing approach anxiety once and for all.
Tip I :Pre-framing Your Belief System
You might have heard or read this before and it’s true:
The world is what you believe it is!
And if I break it down, it’s a pretty simple bet.
You think good well for yourself, good stuff happens to you.
And if you think about bad experiences, well, more bad shit happens to you!
A lot of guys, especially the ones who’ve just started their dating journey…
... make this mistake of giving too much attention to the girl even before they’ve said a single word to her.
They’re always making things complicated by thinking about all the stuff that can go wrong.
‘I’m not good enough for her. She’s way outta my league!
‘Will she think I’m creepy coz I approached her?’
Is that^ you?
Get the attention back to yourself, bud. Coz the approach isn’t about her… it’s about you!
You are the PRIZE here! Champ.
Why, you ask? Lemme tell you something you’ve been forgetting all through.
It’s not just you- she’s the one gaining from the interaction as well.
Think of it this way:
She’s just going about her boring day, doing her usual stuff and cursing her life, where she’s sick of the douchebags and tired of friend-zoning the nice guys.
You come along!
You’re a guy who’s smart and funny.
Plus, you’ve been following Datesharp lately… so you know what to do to get her attracted.
For all she knows, you could be her future baby-poppa…
… and she could be thanking her stars for the rest of her life for the day you came over and talked to her.
Back in the day, my friend Shakespeare would say, ‘You thou be the breath of fresh air in thy lady’s life! You thou be the magic she’s been craving for!’
Well, you get the idea 😛
To ensure that you ace at this, we've given exercises to make pre-framing your belief system hell lotta easy in our book, Daygame Decoded.
Tip II: Getting rid of the ‘What if’ syndrome
Read this quote twice before you proceed further:
‘And you ask “What if I fall?” Oh but my darling, What if you fly?’-Erin Hanson
This is by far one of my favorite quotes! You know why?
I’ll tell ya.
Coz it gives opens an entirely new perspective of thinking and never fails to give me food for thought everytime I read it!
See I understand…
We’re humans who are influenced by society to the deepest of deep levels inside us.
We’ve been taught to live a certain way, we’ve been taught to love certain things and hate others!
It’s in our default closet to be a little skeptical to every new thing we’re about to do.
Yep. That’s why you get that feeling like ‘something’s not right’ in your chest when you’re about to approach a girl for the first time.
But what you gotta do is break free!…
… and manually replace your negative what if’s with positive what if’s.
I, along with the honorable queen of England, dare you to think positive, in-spite of all odds. *Saxophone Music*
For example, the next time before you go walk up to a girl, instead of thinking;
‘What if she rejects me?’ You’d say to yourself…
‘What if she loves meeting me?’
Yes, when you have your doubts and think, ‘What if I’m not good enough?’
Replace it with this:
‘What if I’m the best? What if I’m the one she’s been looking for?’
And when you think that she’s way out of your league, try thinking:
‘What if she falls for me?’
Here’s the thing…
You gotta know the reason why I’m telling you to say all these things to yourself.
And that’s coz I don’t want you you to let any irrational fear get in your way…
… and stop you from going out there and getting all the great things life has planned for ya.
If you still have your doubts, here’s a fact:
Women aren’t out there to humiliate you… Coz they love getting approached!
Yes, they get flattered to see that a guy is daring enough to put in the effort to approach them.
So kick all your fears away, because for all you know, buddy… she might be the one.
And even if it’s not her heart, you’ll win her respect for sure!
Tip III : Hitting it out of the park
Ever heard the saying, ‘Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s taking action in spite of fear.’?
I know I can give you all the theory in the world, but you’ll still probably freak out when you have to do your approaches in real.
You gotta realise that...
All your concepts are clear and you know what’s the right thing to do- it’s time to hit the home run, bud.
So let’s picture the scenario from the beginning once again:
You see HER… the girl right from your dreams!
But you also fear extreme approach anxiety… and we both know… it’s making stuff hard for ya.
But you know what it is...an irrational fear that can’t overpower you.
A fear of what? Absolutely nothing!
You know that well by now.
So you take a deep breath and start walking to her!
Yes, you’re doing great. I’m telling you:
You’re a guy who knows his shit and she’ll see that in a minute.
Because with you, attraction is inevitable!
I know you’re telling yourself if you’re not used to this...and the monkey chatter of excuses has begun.
And maybe, you feel like you wanna stop. But don’t!
Instead, tell yourself this:
‘I know all this kinda feels weird right now! But I’m gonna go and show her a good time. She’s gonna love me!’
And before you know it… you’ve reached her…She’s right there..in front of YOU! Your princess charming.
Now is your time, smile… And introduce yourself to her like a real man :
How you doin? 😉