Reasons You Should Stop Playing the ‘Nice Guy’ Card


When it comes to dating, nice guys barely stand a chance.

Most of the time, these ‘nice guys’ are sweet and do cute things for the girl they love. They wake up everyday praying to lord almighty;

“Please today be the day when she notices all the nice things I do for her. Please God, make her fall in love with me.”

Well, God isn't going to help you, but I will.

So first, you gotta get rid of your sin.

You've got to stop being a nice guy.

I know, you are thinking - ‘What's wrong with being nice?’

Well, everything! 

There’s a thin line between treating women right and allowing them to walk all over you …

… the problem is, you don’t understand where that line is!

And when you cross the line, you land in the FRIEND ZONE.

But what about the romantic films where in the end the ‘nice’ guy always wins the heart of the girl?

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Does that ever happen in reality?

Unfortunately, no. and you wanna know why?

Because life is not a movie.

And what happens to the ‘nice guys’ in real life?

Well, while they are busy thinking about the next big thing they can do to woo the girl, she is getting screwed by some guy who understands her needs.

You just have to understand their emotional needs …

I know, it sounds like a task, but let me teach you how:

Do you know the reason why the nice guy ends up as a loser in the dating game.

Because, they are predictable and boring!

Now, that is a major turn off for women.

Lemme tell you a something that no one else will. Women love guys who can take them on an emotional roller coaster ride.

Yes. They love the feeling of adventure and the rush of emotions.

What you need to understand is …

… that women are like cats! 

Are you aware of the cat-string theory?

When you keep a yarn ball in front of the cat, the cat would just go up to it, inspect it and then leave it alone.

But when you hang a yarn ball, where the cat can almost reach it …

The cat is going to obsess over it. It will keep jumping till the time she gets the yarn ball.


Because the yarn ball on the ground is the ‘nice guy’. In other words - predictable and boring.

And the one which is hanging gives the cat something to look forward to. Something that they have to work for.

Women, just like cats, love the chase.

Women lose interest in the guy if she does not have to work to get him.

Women crave mysteries…

… And they enjoy the process working through those mysterious layers and figuring the real ‘guy’ inside you.

Let’s take this scenario. A lot of us have been through this.

You have fallen for a girl She is everything you imagined her to be.

She is beautiful… smart… intelligent… right out of your dreams.

You love her so much.

She is the most special girl in the world for you and you’d do ANYTHING to make her yours!

So …

… You buy her gifts, take her out to dinners, and even send her cute ‘goodmorning *heart*’ texts every day!

In no time, you are ‘the one’ she calls when she needs anything – you are ALWAYS there for her.

Afterall, she is your number one priority …

… Until the day, she comes and tells you about an amazing guy she has started dating, and how he is funny and naughty yet he is amazing… blah blah blah.

You are heartbroken. And you know her ‘amazing guy’ is just a dorky douche bag who is is not even worth her!

You were never with her, yet somehow you feel betrayed!

‘But I was so nice to her, I did so much for her … Why did she do this to me?’

Because, You are NOT nice.

Yes, you read that right!

You have been lying to yourself all this while. I’ll repeat - you are not nice.

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Just because you did so much and she didn’t give you what you wanted from her, you feel like she deceived you?

Well, someone has the be the bad guy and tell you the harsh truth. And I am going to do that…

… You did whatever you did for her because YOU thought that would get her to like YOU.

She never asked you to do anything! Every nice ‘act’ that you did had only one intention - impress her.

Did she ever ask you for the expensive dinners or for those cute ‘Goodmorning’ texts?

She just enjoyed whatever you were offering.

And who wouldn’t?

We all want other people doing things just to make us feel special!

I know this sounds harsh, but this is how the real world is.

And if you continue doing what you were, you'll always end up getting rejected by her even before she knows how you feel about her.

I know how you feel because I have been through this myself.

And you’re wondering, ‘How else could I have shown her that I want her?’

The answer is, by telling her how you feel about her.

Women dig for guys who are real and expressive about their feelings.

What you and the other nice guys do wrong is that they hide their feelings.

Yes, and they try to woo a girl in the most ‘perfect’ way because that’s what movies teach.

They go overboard on presents, love letters, etc.

But what no one seems to remember is, ‘perfect’ does not exist!

You think that one day it would magically hit the girl …

… “Oh this guy loves me so much, why didn’t I see it all this while?”

And then the girl will start to love them back and their story would have a ‘happily ever after’.

Life is not a Woody Allen romantic comedy, man! You have to tell her what’s up.

Because she will never make the first move… Even if she likes you!

If you try and be perfect all the time, she won’t take long to know that you are faking it!

How? Because we all know that no one is perfect.

So stop trying to be perfect because in that process, you end up being fake.

And would you want to be with someone who is fake?

Hell no! No one likes that.

Instead, stop trying to hide your flaws and express your feelings.

Because when you try to be perfect all the time, there is always this pressure of ‘being perfect’ on you, all the time.

So take that pressure off and let the girl know your real self. You don’t have to be perfect for her!

No matter how perfect she looks, she is not. She is a normal person with her own set of quirks. May be she humms while eating. You don’t know that yet!

So stop being unnecessarily nice to her.

Nice guys get walked over by the women they want because they think the girl as some ‘special’ entity just because she looks pretty.

This thinking makes them go out of their way to make sure the girl is happy and they agree with whatever she says (even if she is throwing tantrums/ her shit at them)

They forget that she just another ‘Girl Next Door’.

The clumsy girl who spills her coffee all the time… The girl who eats and poops every day.

So why make a false image of her in your mind in the first place?

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Think of her as a friend!

Imagine that you with your group of close buddies you know since you were four.

Would you go out of your way to impress them even if you wanted something from them?

Obviously not!

So stop being so formal with her just because you want her to date you!

Like you read above, women love guys who are real - even if they have flaws.

A girl will choose a guy who is genuine, honest and is comfortable with himself over a guy who is trying hard to be perfect on any given day.

I have so many flaws. I mean, I don’t consider myself as someone who has a face like Zac Effron, I am a narcissistic fuck and I can be really cocky at times.

I am honest about who I am in front of the girls. They love me for it.

In fact the girl I am dating right now, explicitly tells me that she loves me because I am ‘equal parts of nice and naughty’.

Now if I were trying to be nice and sweet all the time, she or any girl would see right through it. And would’ve hated me for not being honest.

Don’t take me wrong and start being a jerk to women.

All I am telling you is to be who you are. Are you a person who would want to be a jerk to women without any reason?

Obviously not!

Do you like to be walked over by a girl and cry about it because you are a ‘nice’ guy?

Absolutely not!

Then throw away the mask of ‘niceness’ and be your true self with everybody, even the girl you want to date.

Doesn’t it feel amazing that you can be your real self and the girl will still love you for it?

But Remember…

Be ‘Real’ doesn't mean be ‘boring’!

And if your true self is boring and predictable, we gotta change that.

Girls love their emotions! And as we said above, they dig guys who can fulfill their emotional needs.

They want a guy who makes them feel good and shows that he cares.

But they also want that guy to be strong enough call her out on her shit if she deserves it!

And once you get this combination, you have hit all the right buttons and this will make her go ‘He is so fucking awesome!’ and once they feel that YOU ARE AWESOME, they will chase you - just like cats.

It took us three chapters to explain how to achieve this combination in our book.

Now you know why girls prefer ‘bad boys’ - because unlike the nice guys, they are not boring.

So do yourself a favor and start accepting yourself for what you are...

... and STOP wasting time in being 'nice' to girls.

Trust me, they'll thank you for being ‘you’.

There you have it.

To know more about how to be an attractive man that women desire, check out our Daygame Decoded book.

What do you think about Nice guys? Do you think they stand a chance...Tell us in the comments below!


Dating Coach by profession. Writer by heart. Amitoj spends his free time gobbling on chicken wings and convincing people that he's a reincarnation of Shakespeare.


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